SLOP NEWS NETWORK
Thursday, June 5, 2025
"TRUMP'S CIA YARD SALE!🤡: BUYS OUT ENTIRE FORCE IN DOWNSIZING STUNT!"
Wed, Feb 5, 04:22 AM
USPS GIVES CHINA AND HONG KONG THE 'RETURN TO SENDER' TREATMENT! 🇺🇸🤡
Wed, Feb 5, 04:21 AM
CRUZ CALLS TO CANCEL IRS, MUSK VOLUNTEERS DOGECOIN FOR AUDIT 🤡🚀
Wed, Feb 5, 03:53 AM
USAID STAFF HITS PAUSE: WORLDWIDE 'MINI-VACATION' BEGINS FRIDAY 🤡🌐
Wed, Feb 5, 03:50 AM
TRUMP'S CIA OFFERS EMPLOYEE BUYOUTS: SPY AGENCY OR EARLY RETIREMENT HOME? 🤡
Wed, Feb 5, 03:47 AM
"🪣 SCIENTISTS NEED ANOTHER BUCKET OF CASH TO STUDY BIG-HEARTED VACCINE TAKERS"
Tue, Jan 28, 02:47 PM
HARVARD DISCOVERS AI TUTORS ACHIEVE HIGHEST GRADES: IVY LEAGUE BOT SURPASSES PROFESSORS 🤖📚
Wed, Jan 22, 10:09 PM
TRUMP'S JAN. 6 PARDON-THON: TO THE CLINK OR THE CLUBHOUSE, PATRIOTS? 🤡🇺🇸
Wed, Jan 22, 04:33 PM
FREEDOM MEETS BITCOIN! SILK ROAD'S ULRBRICHT RIDES PRESIDENTIAL PARDON TO A COMEBACK 🐸🚀
Wed, Jan 22, 01:58 PM
GM UNLEASHES $9K PICKUP TRUCK: WHO NEEDS LUXURY WHEN YOU'RE BROKE? 🤭
Wed, Jan 22, 01:14 AM
TRUMP SPRINGS SILK ROAD BRAIN FROM BIG HOUSE, SCORES POINTS FOR PROMISES KEPT! 🐸🚀
Wed, Jan 22, 01:13 AM
FLORIDA U-HAUL ABDUCTION REPORT TURNS INTO RANDY CHINESE STOWAWAY DISCOVERY 😵
Wed, Jan 22, 01:13 AM
BIDEN ISSUES "GET OUT OF JAIL FREE" CARDS TO SWAMP CREATURES 🤡
Mon, Jan 20, 02:31 PM
COINBASE TO UNCLE SAM: GATHER BITCOIN HORDE OR RISK DIGITAL DISARMAMENT 🐸🚀
Fri, Jan 17, 07:13 PM
GREEN PARADISE GOES UP IN SMOKE 🤡: ECO-HAVEN CALIFORNIA'S BATTERY PLANT LITS ITSELF
Fri, Jan 17, 02:58 PM
DOE HELIS BUZZ DC SEEKING RADIOACTIVE RED FLAGS FOR TRUMP'S INAUGURATION 🤡🚁
Fri, Jan 17, 02:54 PM
BIDEN'S PARTING GIFT: 2,500 DRUG CONVICTS UNLEASHED, MAKING HISTORY! 🤡🔄🦓
Fri, Jan 17, 02:54 PM
TRUMP IMPLIES FBI🤡 CLOSED 'WOKEDNESS HUB' TO HIDE THEIR DIRTY LAUNDRY🤭
Fri, Jan 17, 02:52 PM
SACRAMENTO NURSES DECLARE WAR ON AI: ROBO-DOCS 🤖 ARE THE NEW PLAGUE!
Fri, Jan 17, 02:44 PM
"POST-MENOPAUSE MEMORY GLITCHES? ROBOTS 🤖 GOT YOU COVERED!"
Fri, Jan 17, 02:42 PM
"NOVO NORDISK GETS TASTE OF MEDICARE'S MEDS HAGGLING, OZEMPIC PRICE DROPS POSSIBLE, STOCK STUMBLES 🤡"
Fri, Jan 17, 02:40 PM
"GEORGIA STATE SENATOR GETS A TIME-OUT, ARRESTED AT STATE SESSION FOR TOO MUCH AMERICAN SPIRIT 🤡"
Thu, Jan 16, 10:28 PM
DAVID LYNCH BOOTS IT: CAMERA CUTS TO DARKNESS, WE'RE ALL BLUE IN THE FACE 🎬🤭
Thu, Jan 16, 07:27 PM
"TRUMP SWAPS WALL FOR TIKTOK; APP WON'T 'GO DARK' IN EXCHANGE FOR DEAL, ADVISER TEASES 🤡"
Thu, Jan 16, 07:27 PM
JAPAN PREPARES FOR EARTH-SHATTERING MEGAQUAKE, REALIZES GODZILLA ISN'T THEIR BIGGEST PROBLEM 😵
Thu, Jan 16, 05:41 PM
DOC REVEALS SHOTS ARE FORCED TRIALS KILLING KIDS; LA TIMES OWNER BECOMES BIG PROponent OF MR. KENNEDY 🤡🪣🔥
Thu, Jan 16, 05:36 PM
"TICK TOCK FOR TIKTOK AS DOOMSDAY LOOMS THIS SUNDAY 🤭: STILL GOT A JOB!"
Wed, Jan 15, 09:41 PM
TRUMP'S PEACE PUPPET TWISTS NETANYAHU'S ARM ON GAZA! PLOTS THICKEN 🤡
Wed, Jan 15, 09:41 PM
FDA SLAPS FUN POLICE BADGE ON, BANS PARTY-LOVING RED DYE FROM YOUR SNACKS 🤡
Wed, Jan 15, 09:41 PM
BIDEN GIFT WRAPS 'TIME BOMB' OF DEFICIT FOR TRUMP, NOW THAT'S GENEROSITY! 🤡🎁
Wed, Jan 15, 09:41 PM
TRUMP'S SEC UNLEASHES WAR ON CRYPTO REGULATIONS: CALLS TIME-OUT ON ENFORCEMENT 🐸🚀
Wed, Jan 15, 04:00 PM
CAPITAL ONE CAUGHT HAND IN CUSTOMER's COOKIE JAR - $2B WORTH OF COOKIES MISSING, ALLEGEDLY 🤭
Wed, Jan 15, 04:00 PM
🤡EXPOSED: RETIRED FBI 'SPY HUNTER' PLOTS TO SABOTAGE TRUMP, FORGETS HIS OWN TRAINING
Wed, Jan 15, 01:20 AM
BIDEN PLAYS LAS VEGAS, BETS ON CUBA - THE HOUSE ALWAYS WINS RIGHT? 🤡🎰
Wed, Jan 15, 01:20 AM
FBI & DHS PRACTICING FEAR-MONGERING WITH PREDICTIONS OF RAMPANT RAMMING RAMPAGES 🤡
Wed, Jan 15, 01:19 AM
SPIN THE WHEEL OF FORTUNE: 💉 SHOT RISK ROULETTE BLOWS UP TO 610% 😵
Wed, Jan 15, 01:05 AM
US HOUSE PASSES LAW: "TRANSGENDER ATHLETES STICK TO YOUR LANE, OR NO FEDERAL FUNDING!" 🤡🤷♂️
Wed, Jan 15, 12:38 AM
TRUMP TO ROCKET 🚀 CRYPTO: EXECUTIVE ORDER BONANZA ON DAY ONE! 🤡
Wed, Jan 15, 12:35 AM
MICHELLE OBA-NO-SHOW: SKIPS TRUMP INAUGURATION, LETS HUBBY DO THE HEAVY LIFTING 🤡
Wed, Jan 15, 12:34 AM
TRUMP PLANS TO SHAKE DOWN FOREIGNERS WITH NEW "EXTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE" 🤡
Tue, Jan 14, 07:58 PM
ELON MUSK EYES COMMIE CHINA'S TIKTOK, MORE PLANETARY DOMINATION INEVITABLE? 🚀🤡
Tue, Jan 14, 07:58 PM
SMALL BIZ BUZZING: LOONEY TUNES HIGH ON TRUMP'S COMEBACK TOUR 🚀
Tue, Jan 14, 07:58 PM
TIKTOK REBELS DEFECT TO CHINESE APP TO STICK IT TO UNCLE SAM 🤡🚀
Tue, Jan 14, 05:52 PM
BIDEN'S FINAL ACT: TRAGEDY OR COMEDY? AMERICA CAN'T DECIDE! 🤡
Tue, Jan 14, 05:52 PM
BOEING'S 2024: A TRAINWRECK IN THE SKY! HIGHEST SALES MONTH CAN'T FIX THE FALLING PLANES! 😵🚀
Tue, Jan 14, 05:34 PM
BRAINY SURGEON STOPS WILDFIRE IN ITS TRACKS, PROTECTS NEIGHBORHOOD 🪣
Tue, Jan 14, 05:25 PM
"FBI ENSURES ZERO THREATS TO TRUMP INAUGURATION, NO REASON TO PANIC RIGHT? 🤡"
Tue, Jan 14, 03:05 AM
CONGRESS BEGS BIDEN TO SAVE TIKTOK, RISKING NATIONAL IQ DROP 🤡
Tue, Jan 14, 01:06 AM
HOLLYWOOD'S NEWEST TRAINWRECK: SPECIAL EFFECTS CAN'T SAVE THIS FLOP 🤡🎬
Tue, Jan 14, 01:05 AM
"GLOBAL WARMING EXONERATED! 95% OF CALI WILDFIRES LIT BY HUMANS, NOT HOT AIR 🤡"
Tue, Jan 14, 01:03 AM
BEZOS' BLUE ORIGIN CAN'T PERFORM: SPACE ROCKET GOES LIMP 🚀🤭
Mon, Jan 13, 03:43 PM
HOLLYWOOD SIGN SET ABLAZE? TINSELTOWN TINDERBOX TALE TORCHED🤡
Mon, Jan 13, 03:43 PM
"GREENLAND YEETS OVER DENMARK, EYES A RED, WHITE & BLUE FUTURE: POLL SUGGESTS 🤭"
Mon, Jan 13, 03:40 PM
ZUCK PLUGS 'MANLY VIBES', SAYS WOKEDOM SPAYED AND NEUTERED CORPORATE USA!
Mon, Jan 13, 03:23 PM
"STARMER'S AI DYSTOPIA: BRITAIN'S BID TO BECOME SKYNET ON STEROIDS!"
Mon, Jan 13, 03:06 PM
"BATMAN CAN'T SAVE BEN AFFLECK FROM FBI'S DRONE INVESTIGATION AT HIS LA BACHELOR PAD!"
Mon, Jan 13, 03:05 PM
"BASS BLOWS IT BIG TIME: KAREN'S SECRET MEMO FANS WILDFIRE DISASTER FLAMES IN CALI!"
Mon, Jan 13, 03:02 PM
"KAMALA'S CAMPAIGN DEBT SAGA: DONORS STUCK WITH THE BILL, DO THEY GET A T-SHIRT?"
Mon, Jan 13, 02:55 PM
"BANNON DECLARES WAR ON 'DEVILISH BIGOT' MUSK; SPARKS FLY IN BATTLE OF TITANS"
Mon, Jan 13, 02:55 PM
'FUMBLING' WRAY CRIES WOLF ABOUT CHINA CYBER ATTACKS; STILL CAN'T FIND HUNTER'S LAPTOP!
Mon, Jan 13, 02:53 PM
"BITCOIN AND FRIENDS GO ON A BLOW-OUT SALE! LOWEST PRICES SINCE THE PILGRIMS LANDED!"
Mon, Jan 13, 02:41 PM
"DEM REP TEARY-EYED OVER LAW-BREAKERS FEELING LAW'S BITE, CLAIMS 'HIGHWAY TO DEPORTATION'"
Mon, Jan 13, 02:41 PM
"CHINA'S CRYSTAL BALL SEES A WAR SOONER THAN ITS NEXT BIRTHDAY BASH!"
Mon, Jan 13, 02:41 PM
"ABRAMS BACKS WIKLER IN DNC RACE: CAUTION! HILARIOUS RISE IN VOTER 'PROTECTION' AHEAD!"
Mon, Jan 13, 02:39 PM
"NEWSOM'S HAIL MARY: FIRED UP TO BUILD 'SMARTLA 2028' AMIDST ASH & CONFUSION!"
Mon, Jan 13, 02:24 PM
"COHEN PLAYS 'SOMEBODY'S SON' CARD, BEGS BIDEN FOR A GET-OUT-OF-JAIL-FREE PASS!"
Mon, Jan 13, 02:22 PM
"'VEGAN DIET CURED MY CONSERVATISM' SAYS OBAMA'S GARDENER: REAL WH HOAX UNVEILED!"
Mon, Jan 13, 06:58 AM
"TRUMP PLANS PARDONS FOR UNICORNS AND SASQUATCHES FROM JAN. 6 RIOT!"
Mon, Jan 13, 06:58 AM
"GABBARD FLIP-FLOPS ON FISA-702 FOR DNI POSITION, DEMANDS PRIVATE CITIZENS' EMAILS!"
Mon, Jan 13, 06:57 AM
"BIDEN BEMOANS META'S FACT CHECK FINALE: FEELS DEFEATED WITHOUT HIS TRUTH FILTER!"
Mon, Jan 13, 06:32 AM